Apple Pie

I wish I could tell you that I do everything right the first time. That, without flaw, I tackle projects, and recipes, and parenting, and life in general with the best possible attitude and right mindset. I don’t.

I know the right thing to do, and I even do the right thing a lot of the time, but sometimes…there is that nagging, grumpy feeling that just plain honestly feels good to indulge in.

I recently asked my good friend how it is even physically possible for me to live in this “totally blessed” mindset (Which I do). And simultaneously live in a “grumpy” mindset. (Which sometimes, I do).

I have a very thin filter, and at this point in my life I am kind of transparent about how I feel on things. I just don’t have the time to fake it. Life is too short. I am not talking about slaying someone over something minuscule. Big picture stuff.

If I disagree, you know.

The best advice I ever got about the holidays and divorce was from my bestie (the ricotta maker), who said, “We all navigate the holidays Chrissy, even the married people.”  That is true. We all decide to go to where and what are we bringing and when. Or, we choose to order in and stay on the couch in quiet. We navigate. Sometimes it is easy, sometimes, not so easy. Gratitude and Grumpy.

Which brings me to this pie. Salted Caramel Apple. Granny Smith and Macoun Apples. Lemon Zest. Salted Caramel. Flaky Crust. This pie is beautiful and I am not even an apple pie lover.

I did make the Salted Caramel and yes, it is spectacular. The apples did not mush and get runny.

The lattice was sprinkled with cookie sugar and my son, who says very little says, “I don’t know how you do this. That is really pretty.” Cue the mom tears.

So imagine my surprise when my daughter bites into it and says, “It’s kinda tangy.” “Good tangy? Sour? Bad? I mean, does the caramel balance it out?” (this is Thanksgiving and my pie is bad)?

“No mom, it’s really good, just tangy.” Lemon zest. you sneaky devil. You are the grumpy to my blessed life. So true confession? I added more lemon zest than the recipe called for. I like lemon zest. Oh well. But, it did get me thinking. It was the zing of the zest that made the pie tangy.

Life lesson, once in a while it’s ok to have a little grumpy with your gratitude. To say, “I am tired and may not want to do this thing.” or,

“You know what, I baked pies all day and I am not cooking supper because I am getting up tomorrow at the crack to drive.” or,

“Is this holiday going to be ok, now that some major parts of our lives are different?”

Which is the heart of this holiday for my kids.

It’s ok to feel a little sad or a little tangy. It’s not good to wallow in it. But to feel it? Yeah, that’s ok.

This Thanksgiving was wonderful, and cherished; and, it was sad. Which is fitting. A lot of people who grieve during the holidays have the additional emotions that they too have to navigate.

It doesn’t mean that it’s easy. It’s got a little zing. You can love the people you are with and miss the people you aren’t. You can cry when you wash the holiday dishes and think, “he/she should be here.”  It’s all a part of it.

I personally loved the tang of the extra lemon zest, and when you top the pie with salted caramel, it balances out really well. Like life. You get a little zing to balance the sweet. I used a combination of Granny Smith and Macoun apples- and the amount of flour in the mix with the apples prevented the apples from getting runny and soft. (Not a fan of apple soup in my pie crust).

I will do my best to get the salted caramel recipe up asap, as it is used in the pie as well as for topping. (The finished picture was actually my daughter’s Thanksgiving dessert). This pie, originally from www.sallysbakingaddiction.com is simply beautiful and delicious. I use my own pie crust recipe (yes, I actually make pie crust on the holidays…) but the lattice I brushed with egg wash and sprinkled with decorating sugar, like the original recipe calls for.

Although our Thanksgiving was a “first” in many ways, the mix of bitter-sweet made the holiday. We loved on family, sat with friends, and said goodbye to some parts of who we used to be. Life is a gift. Thankful hearts, both blessed and grumpy, are still thankful. And hey, nobody wants a super sweet apple pie, anyway. That’s all about balance. Big hug friends!

I hope you enjoyed this recipe, and as always, thank you for coming to the table!

Chrissy

Click below for a printable recipe.

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