My Spring Break is coming to a close, and while I did a ton of cleaning and purging and moving furniture around, etc… I am only now settling in to write. Why is it that the writing part is the hardest part?
Do you ever walk around composing in your brain? Letters you need to write or cards to send, emails to respond to, and for me, blog posts as well. It is what it is. If I am lucky, I get an opportunity to write it down. If I am not, I place a post it note somewhere and come back to it thinking, “huh?”
One of the best parts of my week off, besides the opportunity to stay at the Cape for a few days, (Thanks Aunty Cathy) was the chance to walk with friends. I mean early morning, after work, lunch break walks with people I don’t get to see in daily life. Walk, and listen, and share, and all while filling my lungs with fresh air and moving my body. To me, that is a gift. I did my first set of pull-ups this week as well (Thank you Erika) so hey, rock on. Forty-six, here I come.
We have been a predominantly vegetarian household for almost a month, and yet, I still have a list of recipes to share that are not necessarily super-healthy, but are in the works. The blog is about two weeks behind my real life. So when I post a batch of cookies, chances are they are long gone and the crumbs are already swept of the teacher’s lunch room table at school. It’s just reality.
We work. We have family. We have outside responsibilities. We feed and nurture and take care of our circle. So, the extra stuff waits for most of us. We don’t really get the chance to be selfish. It isn’t who we are.
I had the chance to grab coffee with a precious friend this week who shared some things, and she said, “Thanks for letting me look into your life.” My response was, “My life is a Sh8t Show!” and her response was, “But it makes me think I can do it too.”
To which I say, AMEN and YES. YES YOU CAN. Our lives are imperfect. We have kid issues and work issues. We have addictions and illnesses and death and loss. We have messy. We have step-over-this-part-of-my- life-and-no-one-needs-to-see-it stuff. We have the stuff we won’t put on Facebook.
You will never see me post my children’s report cards on social media. Not because they aren’t worthy. But because, it’s not my thing. You will see me post a picture of them laughing together, or playing their ukuleles together, because while I love that my children are smart, I love that my children have the capacity to be kind. Not to shame those who do. Like Amy Poehler says in her book, “Good for you, not for me.” I realize my parenting style is not the same. I am not raising free-range chickens or lab rats. I am not raising super heroes. I am raising children (technically young adults). I am sure they will need therapy for something. It won’t be because I didn’t try.
Yesterday I asked my son, “Do I stress too much and act really cranky when we travel?” He looked at me and said (carefully and only slightly sarcastically), “Ahhhh, yeah?” Point well taken. My response? “I’m really sorry. I’m working on it.” I’d rather they remember me identifying and apologizing and changing as a mom. At least they know I am trying and willing to work on stuff.
Truthfully, I suck at the circus. I can do this or that really well and the rest I am trying my best. Sometimes my best is not good enough for my standards. Sometimes my best still rocks but it isn’t enough. That’s where grace comes in.
No one has it all together. No one has a Facebook perfect life. We can’t compare or it will kill us slowly from the inside. Comparing is as bad as cancer in my book.
In the last year, I have slowly learned to unfold from years of this mindset of being the good parent, or the adult, or the martyr in some situations. I am not done. I am so not done. Every day I am trying to love this body and this soul inside my skin and forgive myself of all the shortcomings. This is hard. It is hard because I am great at finding the good outside of myself but not necessarily inside of myself.
What a slow process. I have said it before, I wish I wanted all the good for myself that my mom would want for me or I want for my kids. That I would breathe and say, “Chrissy, you’ve got this,” more. I am learning.
I am changing habits and while I think of cookies (recipe not posted yet) while I do pull ups for the first time, I am realizing that cookies are lovely and therapeutic to make, but not the only option.
Still, give me all the chocolate. (I am working on this too).
So. This recipe. It is a dark chocolate muffin and it uses banana, coconut oil, greek style yogurt, and it is still a muffin but it is a better choice muffin.
For the banana haters of the world…yes, it still does have a slight banana smell but it is not a banana muffin, if you get me. It also has dark chocolate chunks and is delicious. It has sugar but not a ton. It is decadent enough to be a cupcake- but it is dense. So it really is a muffin. I chose dark chocolate cocoa powder because it is my personal preference, but regular cocoa powder will work too.
My only wish for these muffins is that they would last longer, you need to share them and eat them within a few days or they toughen up. So make these and bless those around you with a healthier version of a breakfast treat. You can pop them in the microwave or a few seconds to heat them up and they are even better.
As for a glimpse into my circus. It is what it is. Hopefully it makes you think you can tame the tigers, unload the clowns out of the small car, hang from the trapeze, eat the popcorn and ride the camel too. We do the best we can, and take it one day at a time. We need to look at ourselves with kindness. We need to fall in love with ourselves a little bit more every day. Because, we are worth it. I’ll say it to you now, and tuck it into your heart: You’ve got this.
I hope you enjoy this recipe, and as always, thank you for coming to the table!
Chrissy
Click below for a printable recipe.
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Dark Chocolate Chunk Greek Yogurt Banana Muffins
- Author: chrissy@mythankfultable.com
- 1 Cup extremely ripe mashed bananas (2–4 depending on banana size)
- 1/2 Cup Plain Greek Yogurt
- 1 Large Egg
- 2 Teaspoons Vanilla Extract
- 1/4 Cup melted coconut oil, cooled
- 1/2 Cup Dark Brown Sugar
- 4 Heaping Tablespoons Dark Cocoa Powder
- 1 Cup Dark Chocolate Chips
- 1 Cup Flour
- 1 Tablespoon Corn starch
- 1/2 Teaspoon Baking Soda
- 1/4 Teaspoon Salt
- Preheat oven to 350*
- Line a muffin tin with paper liners. If you want the added protection from muffin sticking to liner, lightly spray muffin liners with baking spray. You can dust liners with additional cocoa powder.
- Mix dry ingredients and chocolate chips.
- Mash bananas and combine with yogurt and egg.
- Add melted and cooled coconut oil, brown sugar, and vanilla extract.
- Add in brown sugar.
- Combine wet ingredients and dry ingredients, mixing until just combined, not overworking the batter.
- Divide batter into muffin tins, this yielded 12 regular sized muffins.
- Bake for 18-20 minutes or until tester comes out clean.
- Allow to cool and store in an airtight container for up to 3 days.
